


my brother is a ghost

by AwayLaughing



Series: lines of descent [16]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Brother-Sister Relationships, Child Abuse, Cousins, Dysfunctional Family, Gen, Non-Linear Narrative
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 22:42:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13258134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwayLaughing/pseuds/AwayLaughing
Summary: Hanabi's relationship with her cousin has always been far different from her sister's.





	my brother is a ghost

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah, fairly frank discussions about child abuse here, tread lightly.

They buried their father in the tiny mausoleum he erected for Hizashi-jisama, fifteen years earlier. Grandfather protested, and some argued he should be buried with the rest of the war dead. _It’s tradition_ , they said.

 

“They’ve been apart far too long,” Hinata-nee said to one person during a family meeting. “Let them finally rest.”

 

Neji, in the back of the room, said nothing, and was gone the next time Hanabi looked for him.

 

* * *

 

 

The first time Hanabi ever saw Neji she was four years old. He was in the dojo, furiously going at the punching bags there. She’d sat, enthralled by this strange boy with her father’s face, until Riku found her.

 

“Leave Neji-kun alone, Hanabi-sama,” she said, gently dragging her away from the dojo and back to her rooms.

 

“Who is Neji-kun?” she asked, “he has chichi-ue’s face.”

 

She didn’t realize at the time, but Riku looked awkward as she lead Hanabi down the then unfamiliar halls. “Neji is...no one, Hanabi-sama. Not anyone you need to bother with, anyway.”

 

When she asked Hinata-nee later she said, “Neji-kun? You mean Neji-niisama?”

 

 _Niisama_. Elder brother. Some day later, on a rare day where she saw her father she remembers briefing him on her week. “And my brother is a ghost,” she told him. He gave her a familiarly stern look.

 

“You do not have a brother, Hanabi-chan.”

 

* * *

 

 

Her brother was a ghost, and her mother was a ghost and her father had a ghost he called Hizashi-nii, when he thought he was alone in a small crypt no one else visited. Those were her conclusions, after being told this Neji was no one – she had no brother, he was of no consequence. Ignore him, like you ignored a bad luck ghost.

 

It was November 3rd, two weeks after seeing him, was the day she spoke to him for the first time in her life. She knows because she marked it on the little calendar they used to plan her days. When Riku asked what it was, Hanabi bit her lip. She was not supposed to talk to Neji-nii, he said so himself.

 

“I found a ghost,” she said instead.

 

“Oh, was it scary?” Riku asked, pulling out a kimono for dinner tonight. “Or was it a nice ghost?”

 

“No, the ghost wasn’t nice,” she said, “but it wasn’t scary.”

 

* * *

 

 

Turning five was a big day for Hanabi. She started formal tutoring, not just the baby stuff but real stuff, and she was finally allowed to join the family dinners they held once a month.

 

“Your father says if you cannot comport yourself like an adult, you won’t be invited back,” Riku said, carefully arranging her kimono. “You’ll do well, just be quiet.”

 

“Like Neji-nii?” she asked. She’d spied on him plenty since November. He almost never spoke.

 

“I – no. Not exactly,” she said, “answer questions people ask you, of course.”

 

“Neji-nii doesn’t answer questions?” she asked. It seemed awfully rude of him. Riku blushed.

 

“Neji-kun is different from you, is all.”

 

* * *

 

 

“You shouldn’t be here, Hanabi-sama.”

 

Neji did not sound like her father, deep and steady voiced. He sounded like the other young boys she knew, but his tone was flat and his voice quiet.

 

“I wanted to talk to you,” she said to avoid the fact he was right. This was his room, in a hall she wasn’t really meant to go, but she couldn’t think of another place where no one would notice her. “Are you my brother or not?”

 

He stared at her. He did look like father – father when he was young, like the pictures Riku snuck her sometimes.

 

“I am not,” he said. “You need to leave.”

 

“Why?”

 

“You will get in trouble.”

 

“I don’t care! I want to talk to you but I’m not allowed and I don’t know why,” she said.

 

Upon reflection, years later trying to recall the fuzzy memory, she would realize his answer was probably snide. “You should not concern yourself with those beneath your notice,” he said. And then because she wouldn’t, he left the room himself.

 

* * *

 

 

Making friends when you were the heir of the Hyūga clan was hard. Especially when your father wouldn’t send you to the academy, and your genin test wasn’t for another few months. Hanabi found ways though, which was why she was on her floor with her only two friends in the world. Tsukimi’s family wasn’t clan, but they were very wealthy merchants and they left in her Konoha for the season, wanting her to have a good education. Eho’s father was a refugee from Kiri, but her mother was part of the Sarutobi clan. Her granfather still didn’t approve, but her father overruled him.

 

“I never thought we’d get to have a sleepover at your place,” Eho said as Hanabi gave them the tour. She was already in her pyjamas – hot pink and covered in pictures of _tama-kun_ and she stood out like...someone dressed in hot pink and dancing eggs. “Or, ever actually. Your parents are crazy strict.”

 

“Just chichi-ue,” she reminded Eho. Eho gave her a sheepish smile.

 

“Sor-”

 

“It’s fine,” she said. Down the hall, the not-familiar-enough figure of her often wayward cousin came out of the kitchen. He no doubt spotted them, but he ignored them, a small bento box in his hands. “Neji-nii!” she cried, startled but delighted. “I thought you had a mission.”

 

Neji’s turn was smooth, like he never planned doing anything but talking to her. His face was as studiously blank as usual, and he gracefully transferred his grip on his food so he could give her a shallow bow that did not look too strange. Not for the first time Hanabi thought he cousin must be inspiring to see in the field.

 

“Mission parametres have changed,” he said. He wasn’t quiet like before he became a genin, and his voice was deeper than the last time they spoke. She tried to think of when that was – six months ago, maybe? “We will be leaving later and so can’t stop to make food.”

 

“Oh,” she said, “did Junko-san make you something?”

 

“It’s the premade bento for the gate guard,” he said, “Kou-san told me to take his.”

 

“Oh, that’s nice of him,” she said. Junka was always happy to make her a bento – and she wasn’t like most people. Surely Neji could have asked her for one made for _him._ “Um – these are my friends. Kodo Tsukimi, and Minemoto Eho.”

 

Neji gave them another bow, shallower than the one he gave her. “A pleasure,” he said, sounding more like someone reading a script they did not care about. She was too much of a Hyūga to look chagrined, but it was a close thing. Hinata-nee might know how to talk to their cousin – but Hanabi did not. “I understand they are here for a sleepover?”

 

 _What?_ “I- yeah,” she said. “How did you know?”

 

“Sofu-ue,” he said. Hanabi’s pleasure immediately vanished. Conversations between her grandfather and Neji were a literal nightmare. Usually it included a beating poorly masquerading as a spar. Everyone said it was a normal spar of course, but her father could beat her grandfather, and Neji could beat her father – so he had no reason to lose _every_ spar with their grandfather except that he had to. “He was very passionate about it.”

 

Hanabi didn’t often feel guilty. She felt bad, sometimes, about the way the main branch treated the branch – not just Neji but all of them. But she didn’t feel _guilty_ about it. She’d not done anything like that for years – not since Hinata-nee saw her one day and burst into tears over it.

 

“ _Would you say that to Neji-nii? To Riku-san? To me?”_

 

She felt guilty now. She’d never considered that defying her grandfather could have repercussions for other people. She found herself fighting not to activate the byakugan and look for broken ribs or too-deep bruises.

 

“I hope you have fun, Hanabi-sama, Tsukimi-san, Eho-san,” he said. It was less rigid than usual, and she searched his face, almost falling over when he gave her a tiny smile. “And that you have many more.”

 

With that he excused himself, disappearing out of a servants’ door. Silence reigned for a long moment before Tsukimi spoke. “Is that your cousin?” she asked.

 

“Yeah, I don’t have any others,” she said. “Or, well not any _first_ cousins.”

 

“He’s hot,” she said bluntly.

 

“Is he always so unfriendly?” Eho asked.

 

“No,” Hanabi said, immediately defensive. Eho eyed her. “No,” she said again.

 

He was usually _less_ friendly.

 

* * *

 

 

Hinata’s room was dark and still when Hanabi entered, keeping her chakra as muted as she knew how. The whole clan was still these days, the branch members trying to be as ghost-like as possible. Like Neji – but not at all like Neji because he was why grandfather was mad and her father was...something and her sister didn’t leave her bedroom.

 

They said he hurt her. That he was bad.

 

“Neesama?” she called once the door was closed. It wasn’t late – it wasn’t even supper yet – but it was pitch black in the room, and smelled musty. Hinata didn’t answer, so she struck, deeper into the semi-foreign territory until she reached the bed. Hinata-nee was asleep, flat on her back. After a moment, Hanabi carefully climbed up, tucking herself on her arm.

 

Hinata-nee did not sound musty like the room, she smelled clean, and Hanabi cuddled closer, careful to be very gentle.

 

“Hey neesama,” she said, voice a whisper. “I missed you, so I came to visit.”

 

* * *

 

 

Neji did not answer questions at dinner, because no one asked him anything.

 

No one, other than Hinata and Hanabi, even looked at him.

 

* * *

 

 

Konoha was gone. Or most of it was, the important bits like the tower and the hospital and her home. That meant Hinata and the other injured were being kept on one of the outlying farms, with tents pitched in the fields around them. The farmer’s wife was very deferential to them, her son just seemed intrigued.

 

“Most of the shinobi won’t talk to me,” he said, “kaachan says they’re too busy.”

 

Hanabi, not being busy, just nodded from her spot at her sister’s side. She’d let him in because she liked him, even though he was probably Neji-nii’s age or even older.

 

“Yeah,” she said, “aren’t all the tents bad for the crops?” She asked, looking out the window.

 

Kaiji – his name – shrugged. “We got enough for the winter already,” he said. “With Konoha gone, whose gonna buy the rest?”

 

She...hadn’t really thought of that. “The lords buy surplus, for famine and stuff, right?”

 

The Hyūga did. They’d had to contribute after the Kyūbi, though not as much as the Uchiha had. Her grandmother had said, “the clan was already mostly dead by that point, they weren’t going to use it.”

 

Kaiji snorted. “From their _local_ sources,” he said, “those of us who sell to Konoha have to rely on the Daimyou himself, or nothing.”

 

“The daimyou won’t buy it?” she asked. He shook his head.

 

“Capital says there won’t be no war,” he said.

 

“Even now?” she asked. You could see the smoke from the crater even here. The wind was blowing it their way now.

 

Kaiji just shrugged. “You’ll have to ask that guy who visits your sister in mornings,” he said. “I know about farming, not politics and shinobi.”

 

“Guy?” she asked.

 

“Yeah your brother or something? He’s not very talkative and I guess he’s usually helping with clean up.”

 

The clan was still scattered, but she knew they’d taken heavy losses. Hyūga were front liner fighters, and they were deadly serious about duty. The ones in camp didn’t really talk to her – she was main branch, _other_ and not someone you talked to. Her father hadn’t been around since their return, busy arranging things with the clan heads and Hokage’s office...or whatever was in charge now.

 

“Neji-nii?” she asked, surprised by the way his name came out strangled. “He’s _alive_?”

 

Kaiji looked aghast. “No one told you your brother’s alive?” he asked. The knot in the throat didn’t allow her to correct him, so she just nodded. “Wow, shinobi are tight lipped,” he said. “Well he wasn’t here yesterday morning, but he usually comes around the time kaachan’s working on the bread.”

 

Hanabi nodded. “Thank you,” she said. “Er, when does your mom make bread?”

 

* * *

 

 

Hanabi’s office – gods that was strange to think about – was a safe space really. She didn’t let most people in here, like her father before her, and she’d decorated it entirely herself. That meant actual colour, and some cheerful plants. She’d kept the calligraphy done by her great great grandmother, but not much else. Hinata, the only person outside of Riku with complete access, said it was much better than before.

 

It looked weird with certain people in it, however. Neji even standing in the doorway looked strange. His room was just the way he’d left it when he moved out, and was minimalist to the point of austerity. His house had been pretty similar, except the ugly quilt that now sat on the foot of her bed. She just had this image of Neji as someone who existed in undecorated shoji-pannelled walls and plain bedding. Not pink rugs and vibrant wall art.

 

“You summoned me,” he said, not fully entering. She nodded, gesturing him in. He did as directed, and knelt at the table without instruction. “Finish your work, I can wait.”

 

“Of course,” she said, feeling awkward. She tried not to think of his eyes on her back as she read the report, but finally she put it down without finishing it. It wasn’t going anywhere. “Er hi,” she said. Neji had a power over her no one else did. She never stuttered, rarely felt awkward, but with him she felt like the thirteen year old who watched him go to war and didn’t know how to feel about it. She loved Neji – deeply – but she didn’t _know_ him.

 

Her cousin was a few awkward conversations, a dozen painful dinners and a collection of ideas more than he was a proper cousin. It wasn’t his fault, it wasn’t hers, but it was what they had between them.

 

“Hanabi-sama,” he said. “Was there something you needed?”

 

“Not exactly,” she said, steeling herself. “I was – I was wondering if you would like to do dinner. Next week. Just with me.”

 

Hinata was a useful buffer for them, kept her from feeling overwhelmed, acted as bridge. But she couldn’t rely on her sister forever, not even in this. Neji’s expression lifted slightly, less guarded but hardly open.

 

“What for, Hanabi-sama?”

 

She steeled herself. “Just to talk,” she said. “I was thinking this little place that opened up out by the gates. It’s small but it’s lovely and the chef is very adventurous without putting a tonne of chili in everything.” He continued to look at her, passive and yet waiting. “I-” she swallowed, “I need to talk to my big brother.”

 

His mask shattered, shock splashing across his features like she’d punched him and his feeling were the bruise. He even pulled back slightly as if struck, and then it was all gone, locked back in place. She fought the urge to cry at the reaction – she was twenty and the youngest clan head in Konoha, _and_ a Hyūga. She did not cry, even when someone got offended by being called a close family member.

 

Neji cleared his throat, forcing her to look up. “I...do not have a lot of experience being a brother, Hanabi-sama,” he said. “I am not very good at...family.”

 

Oh. “Well, first step is to not call me - _sama_ in private.”

 

* * *

 

 

No one really came to this garden, which was why Neji liked it, so it was a surprise when he spotted a tiny kimono clad person weaving through the tall ornamental grasses. For a while he just watched Hanabi-chan, wondering where Riku was. When it became obvious she’d somehow escaped her keepers, he pulled away from the shadows, approaching his cousin carefully.

 

When she spotted him she was so surprised she fell over. He cringed, waiting for her to cry and already planning ways to escape when someone came running, but instead she grinned and pointed at him. Her babble wasn’t real words, but it sounded happy at least.

 

“You need to go back,” he said. Of course she was a baby, and she just clambered to her feet and babbled some more. Then she lurched her way to him. Instinct was to pull away from her – but she wasn’t very steady and if she got hurt he’d probably be lucky to get away with some bruises. “Fine,” he said, taking her hand when she was close. She shrieked once – which made him jump – until he realized it was a laugh. “I’m glad you’re happy,” he said. “I won’t be if they think I stole you or something dumb.”

 

She didn’t respond, trying to drag him over to some yellow flowers.

 

“No,” he said, “you can look at flowers with Riku or something later,” he said. “Come on.” She frowned when he tugged her, trying to get to the main house. He could just let her loose in the halls and go back to his garden, and no one would have to know.

 

“Hana!” she said. It was a real word, at least but Neji still scowled at her.

 

“No.”

 

“Hana!” she said again. Neji considered telling her no again – but she was frowning and he knew her tantrums were loud. Sighing he leaned over, picking one and handing it to her. She immediately stopped frowning, taking it.

 

“Gentle,” he told her, stopping her from crushing it. “Come on, let’s find Riku.”

 

“Kuku!”

 

“Yeah, her,” he said. This time as he lead her away, she didn’t tug, trotting alongside him happily.

**Author's Note:**

> IDK I wrote this at 3AM and then went to morning class so it is what it is.


End file.
